Diamonds.  Gold.  Lobster.

You think of these, and you think “expensive.”  You think “More than I can afford, but worth it.”  You think “That’s what kings and queens must be wearing….yes, they must even wear lobsters!”

But, when you really think of them, you start to think, “What the F is going on here?!”

We believe these items are expensive because we are lead to believe that they are rare.  Seems to make sense.  It’s supply and demand.  We pay more for what is abundantly less.

After all, neither diamonds, gold, nor lobsters grow on trees.

Or do they?
Diamonds are supposedly rare jewels. Taking millions of years to form.  Not to mention the controversy surrounding getting them to market. And it’s an industry that tell us how much we should spend on it and out of one mouth, tells us to buy a “10 year diamond anniversary ring”, and out of the other, “tells us a diamond lasts forever.”  (not quite sure what that has to do with them supposedly being “rare”, but bear with me)

My question is: how rare can a diamond be if the industry itself is promoting us to buy more of them? one would think they would want to protect their rare assets, no? how rare can something be that can show up as easily encrusting a cellphone as it can be encrusting a rapper’s upper 4 incisors?

Now onto gold.

A “precious metal”, they are.  Again, expensive to own because supposedly rare.  Rare? Really?  Isn’t there actual gold in Goldschlager, the liquor of choice for countless bachelorette parties?  Found in every college bar on every college campus in every college town (including juco’s) across the country?  Granted, it amounts to about .1 gram of gold per bottle, but if it’s such a rare metal, should we really be so frivolous with it that we’re putting it in bottles of undrinkable booze?

Then, there’s lobster.

It’s one of those foods we think of having only for special meals; First dates. Anniversaries.  Expense accounts.  Meals that we don’t have all the time.  They’re priced by the pound. Flown in from far away destinations which also adds to the cost, as well as our desire for them.  “Hell, flown in all the way from Maine? I’ll pay for that!”  But just like diamonds and gold, just how rare can lobsters be?  How exclusive can they be that we will pay through the nose for them?  I ask you:  When was the last time you never got a lobster when you wanted one? When was the last time you walked through Chinatown and never saw a glass aquarium filled with more live lobsters than would be legal if there were a commission that oversaw the amount of lobsters that could occupy a glass aquarium in Chinatown?  $19.99 a pound ($45 in most steak houses) for lobster??

When we have a national restaurant chain in every city in every state called Red Lobster that has never run out of lobster that serves it everyday seven days a week and even has an event called “Lobsterfest” because they have so many lobsters at every restaurant in every city in every state that they have to have a festival in order to get rid of them?

Diamonds. Gold. Lobster.

It’s not like they’re going anywhere fast.

Or so, they say.

- Mark Abellera