Bret Michaels freakin’ won Celebrity Apprentice. Know what that means? He has better business skills than Goldberg, Cyndi Lauper and the girl who used to be on 21 Jump Street. Good news—now you can kick just as much business ass as Bret by following these 4 easy rules:

1. Perfect your people skills: Bret Michaels probably has a PhD in people skills. When he walks into a conference room, he acts like he’s walking on stage. “How you doing, business people? It’s awesome to be here!” In his mind, he’s probably pretending that pyro is exploding while he talks.
2. Turn your negative into a positive: Losing your hair? No problem. Just wear a bandana and NEVER TAKE IT OFF. It doesn’t matter if you’re having brain surgery—the bandana stays on. Make it your trademark. Business people all look the same with suits and ties. Find your bandana to set yourself apart.
3. Keep your friends close and your friends closer: Bret Michaels has no enemies. I’ve heard the guitarist from Slayer say good things about Bret’s band—Poison. Why? Because Bret’s such a nice guy, it’s hard to be a dick to him.
4. Be a celebrity: People like celebrities. They like to get their pictures taken with them while asking them to sign random pieces of paper or body parts.

Bottom line—people skills are the last thing managers look for when hiring. Why isn’t it the first? Intelligent business people end up burnt out and bitter. It’s the likable ones who end up autographing boobs.

- John Huggins